I just want to take my page, erase everything, and start over! I’m embarrassed at how inconsistent I am with my workouts and my tracking. I do workout more than I track them on here. Some days I just don’t get on my computer. I should keep a journal on paper and just update every couple days.
But more to the point, I’m just not improving. I ran with a partner the other day and did better than I ever have! I really thought solo running was for me, but I think I need someone for the extra motivation. I am my own worst enemy when I’m out there. I allow myself to stop when I could keep going. Having someone else with me telling me to keep going and actually going further than ever felt amazing! I didn’t track that workout b/c I don’t know what my time was. Though I know it’s the best I’ve had since starting to run.
I ran solo today and didn’t do well. But I felt motivated and inspired. There was a lot of commotion going on at the other side of the lake that I run around. I didn’t know what it was at first, all I could see was a big crowd across the lake. People were cheering and then I could see runners’ heads bobbing up and down. I started my run/walk and as I got closer realized it was a high school cross country. As I walked along the sidelines to get through, I watched the runners go by. They were so young and so athletic and lean. They breezed by me and the sea of parents cheering them on with such an ease. I was instantly jealous. I want to run and not know when I’ll stop. I want to feel that runner’s high I’ve read about it my books (when I’m not trying to run, I’m reading about it). I want to find my groove. I want to stick with something and not give up on it just because I’m not instantly good at it. I don’t feel like I’m getting better and it’s incredibly discouraging, but I haven’t been fair to myself. I need to wake up early and run every day, eat right, and track my progress. I’ve never wanted to do something so badly. I don’t know why I’ve zoned in on running, but that is what I want to do.
I’ve decided that this next summer I want to run a 5K and place in my age group. I don’t know how many 5Ks it’ll take for that to happen, but I will do it next summer and I’ve got to start training now. I have weight to loose and speed to gain! Wish me luck!!
Workout:
- Type: Run
- Date: 09/06/2008
- Time: 11:00:00
- Total Time: 00:17:04.28
- Distance: 1.2 miles
- Average Pace: 14:13.08/mile
Digg! this story.
I’ve only been able to use the internet when I’m at a friend’s or a client’s. I need to get a new monitor, but they are kinda expensive. I’ll be back up and running sometime soon! I’ve been keeping track of my workouts on paper though and I am improving a little. Thank you so so so much to everyone who has left me motivating comments! I’ll be back on a regular basis in the next week or so, so keeping in touch won’t be so sporadic! Anyway, just wanted to say hi and I’ll talk to you all soon (hopefully!) 
